Ask A Sex Educator: Prostate Toys

Question: How do I choose a prostate sex toy?

There are lots of different toys designed to maximize reaching and pleasuring P-spots (and G-spots!) so it can be tough to know where to get started. Prostate pleasure begins with some understanding of anatomy, brings in some exploration of prostate sensations and can involve prostate sex toys. 

What is the prostate?

The prostate is a gland located between the base of the penis and the bladder. It’s main function is to produce fluid for semen. It has many nerve endings that some people find pleasureable and even orgasmic through stimulation, like massage or vibration. The prostate can be stimulated externally for a milder sensation through the perineum or internally through the anus up towards the front of the body. 

Where is the prostate?

The prostate is located approximately two inches inside of the anus and can feel a little bit like a marble or a walnut compared the softer tissue of the anus. Prostate toys are sex toys that can be used to stimulate the prostate gland. They are designed to maximize the ability to massage and stimulate the prostate for pleasure. 

What does prostate pleasure feel like?

Prostate pleasure can be fun during masturbation or with a partner. The anus is jostling with nerve endings and can be receptive to erotic touch. Prostate play can lead to orgasm or it can just feel incredibly relaxing and arousing. Some people describe prostate orgasms as distinctly different than other types of orgasms; in that they feel full-bodied, more intense, and can happen with or without ejaculating prostatic fluid. For some people with penises, prostate orgasms allow for multiple orgasms during sex. Many people have a sensation of feeling like they need to pee when they have their prostates stimulated. Others really enjoy the feeling of fullness in their anus while they stimulate other parts of their body like penises or nipples. 

How do I do a prostate massage?

You can use toys or fingers for insertion into the anus. Prostate pleasure requires continually pressure through massage. You might want to experiment with curling fingers or prostate toys towards the front wall of the body and finding a circular or rubbing motion to experiment with what feels good. Anal sex toys for prostate play are great because they take some of the work off of fingers having to apply consistent and continual pressure. 

How do I choose a beginner prostate toy?

Prostate toys come in different types of materials, sizes and features. What they all have in common is a curved shape that allows for easier access to the prostate gland and a flared base so they don’t disappear into your anus!

Beginner Prostate Massager

A great beginner prostate massager is the Aneros Helix Syn Trident - it’s an accommodating size, made of silicone and firm. 

Prostate Vibrators

If you like to have options, the Aneros Vice has a removable vibrator and is 4 inches of rounded and firm medical grade silicone. For a powerful vibrator, the Tiger G5 is great for G-spot and P-spot stimulation. It’s got an easy to use handle, a strong motor and flexibility.  

If you’re investing in prostate pleasure, definitely check out the Naughty Boy. It’s got a great shape for stimulating the prostate on the inside and through the perineum. It has a 10-speed rechargeable bullet vibe, is waterproof and is made of flexible body-safe silicone. 

Curved Dildo

If you’re interested in strapping-on a P-spot or G-spot friendly dildo, the Acute is a great beginner dildo with a harness-compatible base. 

Stainless Steel and Glass Prostate Toys

The Njoy Pure Wand is a stainless steel, weighty toy that has two options for sizes of massagers at either end. Stainless steel gives you the option to play with hot and cold temperatures as well. The curved handle makes it easy for solo prostate play. Glass prostate massagers also can be fun for temperature play and are very firm (and often beautiful pieces of art like this).

Remote-controlled Prostate Toy

The We-Vibe Vector has a savvy design that allows you hands-free prostate pleasure. Vector’s prostate stimulation functions are controlled via mobile app or remote control. The head is flexible and the rumbling vibrations are great for the kind of continual pressure prostates like. 

Prostate Play Beginner Tips

• Get comfortable - this might involve cleaning out your ass, putting down a towel, setting the mood, getting aroused alone or with your partner.

• Start with arousal you are already familiar with. Maybe you like porn, penis stroking, kissing, nipple play, external anal play, etc. 

• Use good quality and long-lasting lube, either an anal lubricant or silicone (not compatible with silicone toys unless you put a condom on the toy) or try this multi-pack of lube to find out which one you like best. Check out our video for info on using coconut oil during anal play. 

• Aim for toys that have a thicker head, it makes it easier to cover more area of the prostate. Some skinnier toys might give too much direct stimulation to a smaller area and cause discomfort. 

• If playing with a partner, go slow, communicate on-going and start with lots of external anal teasing and stimulation.

• Approach prostate play with openness and curiosity, instead of focusing on prostate orgasms as a goal. Explore the sensations, remember to get the rest of your body and mind aroused, and relieve yourself of the pressure to have a prostate orgasm. Instead, enjoy the discovery of new a new pleasure spot!

• Keep exploring and learning until you find what’s right for your body or your partner’s body. My favorite resource on prostate play is the Ultimate Guide to Prostate Pleasure.. 

Other Blog Posts To Check Out:

Ask A Sex Educator: Coconut Oil and Anal Sex

Anal Play Checklist

Ask A Sex Educator: First Time Anal Sex

4 Tips For Better Butt Sex

5 Quick Facts About Prostate Health